How (Not) to Write the Perfect Query Letter

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I've noticed that there's been an astonishing lack of posts about the elusive query letter on this blog. I suppose there are a few reasons for that—namely, that when I figure out how to write the perfect, foolproof query letter from heaven, I'll let you guys know—but considering the huge role query letters play, especially for writers who want to go the traditional route and would like an agent, this really must be remedied.

So. The query letter isn't an exact science—in fact if you check out the interwebs, you'll find a lot of conflicting advice not just from writers, but from agents, which can really be rather confusing when you're looking for some solid query-letter-writing advice.

So naturally you end up here. Right? Right.

In a similar flash of brilliance that led me to write my How to Write a Masterpiece post, I have in fact unwittingly stumbled upon a chest of infinite query letter wisdom, that I feel compelled to share with you guys. You're welcome.

HOW TO WRITE THE PERFECT QUERY LETTER*:

• Begin with Dear Sir/ Madam/ Agent/ You Awesome Person, You. First impressions are everything, and what better way to start off one of the most important letters of your writing career than with a general sir/madam opening?


• Include a photo of yourself, your three cats and your pet parrot. How can any sane agent say no to your parrot's adorable face?

• Declare your book to be the next Harry Potter/ Great Gatsby/ The Catcher in the Rye/ Hunger Games. This shows the agent that two things: 1) you like to read (or you at least know the names of uber-popular books) and 2) you're very confident in your work, and confidence is key!

• Make sure your query letter is an attachment. I mean really, who types their query letters in the body of the e-mail anymore, anyway?

• Send your query letter via Twitter. Bonus points for fitting your query into 140 characters!

• Send your query letter to the agent in a long list of agent e-mails. Not only do you save yourself the time of sending each e-mail individually, but now the agent knows who they're up against.

• Include the full manuscript as an attachment with the query letter. You already know they're going to want to read the full, anyway. You're just saving them the extra time of having to e-mail you and ask for it!

• Include lots! Of exclamation points!!! And sentence fragments! And typos! Yay!!!!

• Include a blurb from your mother. No self-respecting agent will even look at your manuscript unless it has the Mommy seal of approval.

• Write a book that's 200,000 words long. Instant approval.

• In fact, send the query letter before you've even finished writing the book. Fully written manuscripts are overrated, anyway.

• Query three different manuscripts in one query letter. Not only does this increase your chances of the agent possibly liking one of your manuscripts, but they also know you're a prolific writer. Win-win.

• Call them immediately after you send it. You know, to give them the heads up that your fantastic query letter is on its way and they should probably stop whatever they’re doing to read it immediately.

• Send your query letter to every agent at the agency simultaneously. One of them are bound to like it, right?

There are actually many more ways to write the perfect query letter, but this post would be ridiculously long if I gave you all of the query-writing secrets. Besides, I want to hear from you guys: what query letter secrets do you have to share?

* DISCLAIMER: By "perfect" query letter, I mean absolutely horrendous don't-you-even-think-about doing this in your query letter. You know, in case my sarcasm didn't come off as obvious as it did in my head. 

5 Writing Myths

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Not too long ago I wrote two posts covering ten writing truths that I thought were important to discuss broken up into bite-sized part one and part two posts.

Today I’d like to talk about the opposite end of the spectrum—the myths that many of us, especially early in our writing careers, have probably fallen for or perhaps are even still tempted to believe. These myths are created by Hollywood, by too much news coverage of the exceptions, by well-intentioned hopes, overly-optimistic dreams and inexperience.

But these myths are just that—myths—and although they sound nice on paper, the sooner we accept that they aren’t real, the better.

The Writing Myths:

1. The overnight success story. Nathan Bransford wrote a really fantastic post covering this myth much more succinctly than I could, but the overnight success stories that you hear about all so very often are largely lies. Writing a book takes time—months, sometimes years—and chances are the first book that you publish won’t be the first book you ever write (more on that later). It takes time to hone your craft, to learn the ins and outs of writing, to develop your voice and learn how to write a solid plot and then learn the proper way to market it all when you’ve finished. J.K. Rowling spent years planning out and writing Harry Potter and received dozens of rejections before getting published. Amanda Hocking also spent years building her craft and receiving rejection letters before making it big in the self-publishing world. The list goes on, but in short, don’t believe the overnight success story.

2. Your debut novel = your first novel. No.

I mentioned this in first bullet, but nine out of ten times, your first novel will not be your debut novel. Debut is a tricky word, because it sounds like it’d be your first novel ever and when publishers announce an author’s “first” novel, it often sounds like it’s the first one the author has ever written but with few exceptions, that’s largely not the case. “Debut novel” means the first novel that you’ve ever gotten published. It’s your debut into the world of published writers—it’s usually not the first novel you’ve ever written. Chances are the first and second and maybe even third and fourth novels you’ve ever written are going to be sitting in a drawer somewhere when you get your “first” book published. It varies from writer to writer, but it usually takes more than a single manuscript to really hone your novel-writing skills.

3. All the author needs to do is write a book. That’s a nice thought—but not quite. Authors write books, then edit, then rewrite, then edit more, then they market their books—whether it’s on Facebook or Twitter or tumblr or book tours or YouTube—all the while working on the next book, and reading other books, and trying not to entirely disappear from the social media world while buried under a heap of editor notes.

And that’s not even getting into just how difficult it is to write a book in the first place.

4. Authors do everything alone.  Rachelle Gardner wrote a fantastic post on the help that traditionally published authors receive, but in short, traditionally published or not, authors absolutely do not do everything alone. We get help from readers and editors and book designers and agents and marketing specialists and copyeditors because it takes a lot more than just one person to write a book and get it out there. Writers can’t do everything alone, and the great part is that we don’t need to. There are others out there willing and able to help—we just have to go out there and find them.

5. After publishing one book, money starts raining on the author. I think most of us know this isn’t true, but especially nowadays I think it’s important we accept this one.

Yes, there are always exceptions—we’ve all heard about the debut authors who start off with a bang and immediately jump into the New York Times Bestsellers list, with a very nice advance sitting in their bank account. It happens.

But by and large, it doesn’t happen. In today’s world, advances are shrinking and publishers are more careful. An author’s career (regardless of how successful they were with their debut) isn’t based on just one novel—it’s a combination of every novel they ever publish and for most of us, it’ll be a slow climb. There’s a reason so many authors have a second (and sometimes third) job, and it’s not just because they’re bored sitting at home.

Writing takes time. Publishing takes time. Making a living off of writing usually takes a lot of time.

So those are my five writing myths. What would you add to the list?

Why I Love to Edit

So a few days ago, precisely one month after finishing a draft of my WIP, I had the pleasure of tweeting this:

Although many of my wonderful writer tweeples responded with glee, I got more than a couple of messages that went along the lines of err, I don't know, Ava. Editing? Want to do mine for me? *wink wink* 

It got me thinking. 

Once upon a time, long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I used to hate editing. It's not that I thought it unnecessary—I knew it was necessary—I just couldn't stand the thought of re-reading something I wrote half a dozen (or—God forbid—more) times. I'd already done the hard work of getting the first draft down, did I really want to spend months or years flipping things around and cutting passages and adding new things and re-reading re-writing re-reading re-writing? 

Over the course of trunking many-a-novel, I learned the hard way about the importance of editing—real editing, and I realized that if I was going to bring the fullest potential out of my stories, I had to learn to love to edit. Period. 

Surprisingly, saying ok, I need to love editing now didn't magically make me start to love to edit. What did change my opinion of editing (and this is a little surprising), was editing the same WIP over the course of two and a half years. 

I'll admit, initially I got pretty sick of it, and when I discovered after a break from the WIP that it needed complete re-writing after a couple of rounds of edits already, I resisted the process. I didn't want to re-write it—it would take weeks, and then I'd probably need to edit it again and what if it needed more re-writing after that? 

I rewrote it. Then something weird happened. 

Photo credit: AlaskaTeacher on Flickr

As I looked over the WIP again, I realized it was entirely different from the first draft—no, no just different, better. Sure, it still needed work, but it was improving, I could see it improving right there in front of me. I knew it was better, and to be entirely honest, it felt great. 

And suddenly, editing wasn't so bad after all. 

When I didn't like editing, I was looking at it all the wrong way—I thought of it as this extra step, this horrendous extra task that inevitably meant more hard work and when I sat down in front of the computer I thought, ugh, I have to edit today. 

What I didn't realize is that editing is so much more than that—it's a chance to refine your work, to really make your writing shine, and once you start to see your work evolve, well, it can be kind of fun. 

I'm not saying editing isn't hard, time-consuming work—it absolutely is. What I am saying is that the way you look at it can largely change your experience. 

Let's face it, if you want to be a writer, you're going to be doing a lot of editing. Whether it's editing your first or second or fifth or fifteenth draft, editing your query letter or synopsis or author bio or blurb, editing your first book or your twentieth book, the life of the writer is an endless cycle of writing and editing and editing and writing. 

It's part of the process, and it's a step that you can't skip. So if we have to do it anyway, we might as well try to enjoy it, right? 

What do you think? Am I crazy for loving to edit? What are your favorite and least favorite parts of the editing process?

Writing Dialogue with Purpose

"Characterization is an accident that flows out of action and dialogue." —Jack Woodford

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It's often said that poorly written dialogue is one of the first signs of a new writer —whether it's an error in the way it's punctuated, an abundance of non-said dialogue tags or clunky, unrealistic speech, dialogue can make or break your writing.

This post is assuming that you've already perfected the grammatically correct way to punctuate your character speech and your characters are speaking naturally, rather than sounding like they're reading off lines from a script. You see, even after you've mastered the basics of dialogue writing, there are still many more aspects to look at when writing or revising character speech.

One of the most important things you can do when looking over your novel's dialogue is determining its purpose.

In our everyday lives, people blabber on for no particular reason. We talk about the random and the ridiculous with little direction, we go off on long-winded, completely unrelated tangents and some of us are even guilty of talking for the sake of talking. In real life, those things happen.

In your books, those things must never happen.

Menial how's the weather conversations are perfectly acceptable in the work place or at the dinner table, but the moment your characters start talking about the beautiful sunny day outside or the delicious breakfast they had, red flags and buzzers should be going off in your mind.

I'm sure most of you have heard the Alfred Hitchcock quote: "Drama is life with the dull parts taken out." The axiom doesn't only apply to drama and plot, however, it also applies to dialogue.

One of the best writing tips I've ever read on the subject is this: character speech is an action. Our characters' every action must have a purpose, and that includes every line of dialogue they speak throughout the course of the novel.

So what does that mean?

Next time you're revising your writing, take a close look at the dialogue. With every line that comes from your character's mouth, ask yourself if what they said was necessary. What would happen if you removed that line? Would the conversation still be understandable? Would it miss anything? Chances are if the scene can go on without repercussions after removing the line, you probably don't need it.

But how can you tell if the dialogue is necessary?

Dialogue must accomplish one of two things: 1) move the plot forward or 2) develop character. If your dialogue isn't doing either, it's time to either cut it or rewrite it with one of those goals (or even better—both) in mind.

Well-written dialogue moves smoothly, develops character and leads the reader forward through the plot. What are you accomplishing with your dialogue?

Mini Book Reviews

I haven’t done a book review in a while for a couple of reasons, but I thought it’d be fun to give a couple of short book recommendations based on what I’ve been reading as of late, rather than writing many separate reviews for every book I read.

So! Based on what I’ve read so far this year, the first book I’d like to recommend to you is The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson. Before I get into what I thought about it, here’s the Goodreads summary:

Photo credit: Goodreads

“Once a century, one person is chosen for greatness. 

Elisa is the chosen one.  

But she is also the younger of two princesses, the one who has never done anything remarkable. She can't see how she ever will.  

Now, on her sixteenth birthday, she has become the secret wife of a handsome and worldly king—a king whose country is in turmoil. A king who needs the chosen one, not a failure of a princess.  

And he's not the only one who seeks her. Savage enemies seething with dark magic are hunting her. A daring, determined revolutionary thinks she could be his people's savior. And he looks at her in a way that no man has ever looked at her before. Soon it is not just her life, but her very heart that is at stake.  

Elisa could be everything to those who need her most. If the prophecy is fulfilled. If she finds the power deep within herself. If she doesn’t die young.  

Most of the chosen do.”

So I don’t usually read high-fantasy, but I gave this one a shot and I’m certainly glad I did. The Girl of Fire and Thorns really surprised me. Elise, the protagonist, defied the gorgeous-model-like-looks that many YA novels feature, and starts off, in fact, as a rather overweight teenager with a remarkably low self-esteem. That in itself caught my interest and following her story and watching her develop as a character was a real treat. I’ll admit that some of the more fantastical elements took a little adjusting, but The Girl of Fire and Thorns surprised me with many-a-plot twist that I definitely didn’t see coming (which is a rare thing, I might add) and actually got me to exclaim out loud while reading…twice.

In my book, that means I really enjoyed it, and thusly I recommend it to you.

The second book is actually a series that I haven’t finished yet, but judging by the first one and a half books, I can already tell it’s a series I’m going to have to finish.

What series, you ask? None other than The Iron Fey series by Julie Kagawa. The Iron King is the first of the series and this is the Goodreads summary:

Photo credit: Goodreads

"Meghan Chase has a secret destiny; one she could never have imagined.  

Something has always felt slightly off in Meghan's life, ever since her father disappeared before her eyes when she was six. She has never quite fit in at school or at home. 
When a dark stranger begins watching her from afar, and her prankster best friend becomes strangely protective of her, Meghan senses that everything she's known is about to change. 

But she could never have guessed the truth - that she is the daughter of a mythical faery king and is a pawn in a deadly war. Now Meghan will learn just how far she'll go to save someone she cares about, to stop a mysterious evil no faery creature dare face; and to find love with a young prince who might rather see her dead than let her touch his icy heart."

First and foremost, I’d say this is definitely a girl book and although there are a couple of things that irked me along the way, I’ve really been enjoying the series. Once again, it’s a little out of my normal reading genre (and the first faerie book I’ve read since Artemis Fowl) but after seeing it repeatedly mentioned on Goodreads I thought I’d give it a try and now I’m hooked. The faery world Kagawa created is just remarkable, there’s never a dull moment in the plot and the characters are memorable, to say the least.

So that about covers it. Happy reading!

What’s the best book you’ve read this year so far? 

Will Print Books Become Obsolete?

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After reading a particularly interesting NPR article on why we should stop having e-book vs. print book arguments, and a post from agent Rachelle Gardner on what will happen to book signings in the age of e-books, it has occurred to me that it's not so far-fetched to think that one day, print books may indeed become obsolete. That's not to say that it's particularly likely that it'll happen any time soon or that we should all brace for the book apocalypse, but it's something, I think, that we need to increasingly consider a possibility.

Now, imagining a world without print books is, for some people, not far removed from imagining some sort of horrific dystopia. A world without print books is a world without bookstores—a world without a new book smell, or the crinkle of turning pages, or the subtle yellow tint of an aged book.

A world without print books is a world without real, physical bookshelves—except in the homes of those old-fashioned book collectors who scour the web for a limited-edition print copy of their favorite novels.

A world without print books is a world where everyone must charge their e-readers at night or else risk not being able to read the next day due to a low battery. It's a world where no one can know what you're reading just by glancing at the spine in your lap, a world where book signings, indeed, become a tad more complicated.

Note that I did not say a world without print books is a world without reading or a world without authors.

You see, because a world without print books is something else, too—it's a world where children don't have to lug twenty-pound book bags to school or must use textbooks that are falling apart because it's too expensive to replace them or even must hide what they read because what would their classmates think if boys were caught reading girly books or vice versa?

A world without print books still has, ironically enough, print books on the market—they're just harder to come by and a tad more expensive. Owning a print copy of your favorite novel isn't commonplace—it's special. It means you took the time to get your hands on a limited-edition print copy, it means you are one of those slightly eccentric and mostly archaic book collectors (which is a title, I'm sure, that you wear proudly).

Yes, it's painful to imagine the closing of bookstores or the diminishing of book signing events and it's hard to look at our bookshelves and think that those paper things we took for granted all those years may one day be much more difficult to come by.

But just as people continued to listen to music long after the digital revolution in the music industry, people will continue to read and authors will continue to write. The written word will still be out there, and those stories we've learned to fall in love with will continue to be created and published—and really, isn't that the point?

Let me get this straight: I love print books just as much as any other book collector—I love adding books to my shelf and seeing those beautiful, colorful spines line up neatly next to each other as much as the next person. I love the new book smell, I love the feeling of turning the pages and looking at the texture of the page and how the text was laid out and even how the font that the publisher chose fits with the tone of the novel.

I love all of those things, and it's sad to think of a world where those nuances will no longer be appreciated.

But a world without print books is not the end of the world. There will always be something to read, new stories to immerse ourselves into and new characters to fall in love with.

I hope not to live to see a print-book-free world, but if I do, I guess I'll be one of those crazy book-collector types who hunt down those special limited-edition print copies like it's nobody's business. And I guess I'll proudly add it to my bookshelf while the younger members of my family roll their eyes at me.

Because although print books may one day become obsolete, they will never lose their place in our hearts. 

Yet Another Reason You Should Blog

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I read a little while ago on Michael Hyatt's blog that he found he sometimes didn't know how he felt about a particular topic until he blogged about it (unfortunately I can't find the specific post...sorry!). I thought that was interesting and it raised some questions in my mind.

Questions like: do we blog because we know about something or do we blog because we want to know about something?

Questions like: do we blog to teach others or do we blog to teach ourselves?

After some thought, I like to think that I came up with an answer because for me at least, the answer is both.

Truth is, I've learned just as much from blogging as I hope you have from reading my posts. Writing blog posts—from creating better villains to the usefulness of tumblr for writers—forces me to sit down and think about the topic until I can think about it clearly enough to share with you—my amazing readers.

In essence, I've come to realize that blogging is just as educational for the blogger as it is for the reader.

But I have a feeling I'm not the only one who's come to this conclusion, and I want to hear from you guys.

DISCUSSION: For those of you who blog, would you say that you’ve learned from your blogging experience? For those of you who don’t, would you say you’ve learned from reading blogs?