How (Not) to Be a Brilliant Writer

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If you watch movies, you know that being a writer is an easy way to make piles and piles of money, so it's only natural that you want to be a writer. Luckily, you found this post, and by the end of these ten easy steps you'll be well on your way to becoming the Shakespeare of our time.

How to Be an Incredible, Awe-Inspiring Writer Swimming in Bundles of Cash*

1. Dream up the Golden Book Idea. The easiest way to come up with the idea that's going to make you richer than the Queen of England is to take previously successful books and mash them together. Twilight meets The Hunger Games meets Harry Potter meets Eat, Pray, Love. Star Wars meets Eragon meets Anne of Green Gables meets The Vampire Diaries meets The Notebook. The Lord of the Rings meets The Little Prince meets The Da Vinci Code meets The Very Hungry Caterpillar meets The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. You get the idea.


2. Tell everyone about your brilliant novel. You'll also want to start calling literary agents at this stage. It's only fair that you give them the heads up that something that's about to change the literary world forever is in the works.


3. Don't read. Reading is a waste of time and will only pollute your incredible writing skills. Don't even read the dictionary. Remember—you're a writer, not a reader.


4. Talk to everyone about the trash corrupting the literary market these days. Not only will this make you sound like a knowledgeable writer, but you'll save hundreds of people from reading junk while they're waiting for your masterpiece to be released.


5. Sit in coffee shops with your laptop. This is the essence of being a writer. Enjoy your coffee and pretend to be hard at work—one day people will marvel at the fact that they sat in the same room as you as you worked on the writing that changed their lives.


6. Write only at the peak of your inspiration. If the muse isn't in it, you'll only write junk, which is a waste of everyone's time. Instead, enjoy the coffee smell and wait for the muse to impart the glittering, golden words that will make your writing so beautiful that readers will cry when they read it (but not you, because you're not a reader).


7. Use big, flowery words. Simple writing is for the weak-minded. You can't change the world with your writing with plain Jane words. This is why Shakespeare made up so many new words while penning his masterpieces.


8. Tweet about your writing every five minutes. This will not only prove to your followers that you actually write, but it'll make you instantly popular with other writers once you start telling them how game-changing your work is. Also, don't forget to use big words.


9. Don't show anyone your work before it's published. Don't even show your mother—the temptation to plagiarize such beautiful writing will be too great. And who can blame them? You're the greatest writer to be born in centuries.


10. Create a catch phrase. You're going to be a famous writer one day, so people will be quoting you all the time. Now is a great time to create a catch phrase, something that people will remember you by, something like, "I write beautifully, because the golden essence of the writer is within me" or something mature and thoughtful like, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because I write better than you."

Now go forth and write, my budding, master novelists! I'll be waiting for your brilliant writing to hit the shelves.

*= Why yes, this is a sarcastic post! Please don't take any of this seriously—and for the love of all things literary, do not do these things (except maybe make a catch phrase. You know. If you want).!


Now it's your turn: what so-called "tips" would you add to the list?

How to Use Brainstorming to Edit

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So you're re-reading a scene in your WIP and as much as you hate to admit it, something's off. It's boring, or your characters aren't reacting properly, or the tone is off, or one of dozens of other writing issues is plaguing the scene and you realize that the best course of action (even though you'd rather not) is to rewrite it.

I've already written about the importance of reliving a scene instead of rewriting it, and this is an extension of that, because when you decide it's time to sit down and relive a scene, it's not always as simple as diving into the writing again.

You see, the idea of reliving a scene is to write it better than you did the first time. But if you really want to edit properly and accomplish your goal while reliving the scene, it's often a good idea to do some brainstorming before you begin to write.

Brainstorming while you're working on an edit is a little different than initial plot discovery brainstorming, because this time you're not creating the clay—you're remolding it. You already have words in front of you and a scene that has potential, but it clearly needs reworking. The foundations are already there; your job now is to manipulate it into something better.

So how to begin?

1. Re-read the scene. In order to do an effective round of brainstorming, your writing should be fresh in your mind. While you're reading, take some notes that will help you while you edit — what do you like about the scene? Is there anything you love and want to include in the new version of the scene? Make a note of it. What definitely doesn't work? Make the list as long or short as you like, then move on to the next step. 


2. Put the writing away. Remember, your goal isn't to rewrite what's already there—it's to relive the scene and write something better. The easiest way to ensure you don't end up rewriting the scene with the same issues is to not look at the original writing while you work on your edit. 


3. Begin brainstorming. This is when your edit notes will come in handy. Thinking back on the scene, ask yourself what you can do to improve the issues you made note of in step one. If it's boring, what could you do to make it more interesting (assuming you need the scene at all)? If your characters aren't reacting properly, how should they be reacting? What can you do to make their actions more realistic? The golden rule to this step is this: don't settle for "I don't know." If you're unsure of how to answer a question, brainstorm ideas until you've settled on the right one. "I don't know" is not an acceptable answer. 


4. Write. This step is pretty self-explanatory. Once your brainstorming session is complete and you know what you need to accomplish with your scene, get to work and start writing. And remember—no peeking at the original version of the scene until you've finished writing. 

The best part of using brainstorming techniques like this one while you edit is that you can do it on any scale—whether it's a chapter, a scene, a paragraph or even an entire character arc or sequence of scenes, brainstorming is an essential part of the writing process and shouldn't be overlooked while you write.

Do you use brainstorming while working on edits? What other brainstorming and editing tips do you have?

Writing: A Mind Game

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Thinking back, when I first began writing I viewed my drafts very differently. Although somewhere deep down inside I knew that first drafts were meant to be just that—a first draft—I viewed them as near-complete drafts. I'd put so much time and effort into it already that I was resistant to the idea that it could possibly need much more work. How was it possible that something so difficult to write would require even more work than what I already put into it?

So sure, I edited, but not really. They were line edits—tweaking a sentence here, and a few paragraphs there—making the writing sound better without even considering that the story might still need work.

In my mind, that first draft I slaved over didn't need major changes—it just needed a little brushing up. Needless to say, my thinking was more than a little off; it just took me a while to realize it.

Now, many years and shelved manuscripts later, I've come to realize that my thinking has changed entirely. I no longer dread editing like I used to, and before I write a single word in a new draft, I go in with a completely new mindset: I go in knowing that my first draft is just a first draft. That I have many edits ahead, and things can only get better from here. That this first draft is mine.

I once read that the first draft is largely for the writer, and over time I've truly come to believe it. The first draft is the place where you meet new characters and discover new worlds and work out the bones of the story so that you can refine and deepen the writing later on. The first draft is fun and exciting and a little bit scary, and yes, many times the writing is terrible but it doesn't matter because those words are for your eyes and your eyes only. And there's some freedom in that.

And since changing my thinking, I've noticed something else has changed—I've started to enjoy the process more. That's not to say I didn't like writing before, but I didn't exactly enjoy every stage of the process, particularly, you know, the editing. But since I've realized that I really only scratch the surface of my story with the first draft, since I've realized that editing truly allows me to dive in with a whole new understanding of what the story is really about, since I've changed my thinking, I've truly begun to enjoy the process in ways I never did before.

And this whole experience has brought one more realization: writing is a mind game.

Everything from the doubts that make you hesitate before diving into that first draft, from the heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach when you're faced with yet another revision, from the boulder known as writer's block to the whispers in your mind that your writing simply isn't good enough—it's all a mind game.

A mind game that we can take control of by changing our thinking. A mind game that we can use to our advantage, simply by reminding ourselves of the good of each step: whether it's the discovery of the first draft or the knowledge that every edit you make will improve your story.

I challenge you to find something good, something enjoyable in every step of the writing process. I challenge you to enjoy the writing, enjoy the editing, enjoy knowing that this is your work and that you can only make it better from here.

You're a writer, and writing stories is what you do. Now go have some fun with it.

What do you think—does your mindset really affect your writing? How so?

Writing by Hand vs. Typing: Is There a Difference?

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I hadn't paid much attention to it before, but I noticed recently that I've developed a particular writing habit that I wouldn't have expected from myself: I like to write by hand.

Now, before the groaning begins let me clear something up — when I'm not fighting with my keyboard, I'm pretty decent at typing. I'm not claiming to be superwoman over here, but I usually type at about 80 wpm-ish, give or take, so as you could imagine when I'm doing writing sprints or going for speed, there's no question that I choose typing over writing by hand. In fact, most times when I'm writing, I’ll sit down in front of the computer rather than picking up a pencil and pad of paper.

However, when my fast drafting round is complete and the time comes to begin rewriting and editing, speed is no longer my goal, and in those instances I've found that I really enjoy writing by hand.

The reason I like handwriting my revisions is simple — I'm more careful when I write by hand. I'm not entirely sure why that is, but my guess is that it has to do with the process of typing versus handwriting itself. You see, typing is largely an automatic thing — your fingers jot down the first words that come to mind and allow you to keep up with the flow of your thoughts relatively well, which makes it a really good instrument for fast-drafting.

Writing by hand, however, is a completely different animal. Unless you're Flash or otherwise ridiculously fast, hand writing takes more time — you can't just tap a button and watch a letter appear, you have to write the letter out by hand, and although it doesn't take very long, it certainly takes longer than typing. When writing by hand your thoughts often race ahead of the actual writing, and as a result of that, you have a little more time to think about the words you're actually putting on paper. In addition to this, there isn't an easy backspace button to press if you write a word or sentence you don't like, which for me at least, causes me to be more careful with what I commit to paper.

In short, writing by hand forces me to think about the words I write as I write them, something that has proven invaluable while working on revisions.

Now I'm not suggesting that you attempt to rewrite your entire WIP on paper — although more power to you if you do — but what I've found is that for those scenes that I want to scrap and relive entirely, writing by hand has proven to be an effective way to get my thoughts in order and really focus on the words as I write. My handwritten work tends to be more poetic and thoughtful than what I come up with in fast-draft mode.

So in my experience at least, the difference between writing by hand and typing is more than just the speed at which you can write — the shifting of the process itself changes the result in ways that I wouldn't have guessed had I not tried it out.

So now I'm curious — do you prefer to write by hand or type? For those of you who have done both, have you found a difference in your handwritten work versus your typed writing? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Do Your Characters Fail Enough?

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I've written before about the importance of being a sadist if you're a writer and on allowing your characters to earn their victories, but it occurred to me that I missed an equally important and somewhat related point, namely, allowing your characters to fail.

Let's face it — very rarely do we as readers or writers want our characters to lose, particularly when that character is the protagonist or otherwise well liked. But allowing our characters to fail time and time again is an essential part of both plot progression and character development that writers should be careful not to overlook.

What makes character failures so important, you ask? Let's take a look at the various advantages of allowing your character to lose:

Character failures...

• Raise the stakes. One of the easiest ways to quickly (and dramatically) raise the stakes in your story is to allow your characters to fail. For example, not only do Faramir and his men lose the battle at Osgiliath, forcing them to retreat to Minas Tirith, but when they attempt to retake the fortress he is severely wounded and most of his men are slaughtered, leaving Minas Tirith with less soldiers, a crazy, cowardly leader and another impending battle that they are sure to lose (The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien). 


• Test your character. Failures reveal another side of our characters — it tests their strength (physical, emotional and mental), their determination and the nature of their character. Will your protagonist crumble under pressure? How does he handle failure — does it make him angry? Hopeless? More determined to succeed? Who will buckle under the pressure first? These are questions that can only be answered when your characters face failures. 


• Emphasize the victory. The biggest and best victories are the ones that the characters have earned by persevering through the toughest odds. Victories handed to your characters on a silver platter are worthless — as they say, nothing worth having comes easily, and your character victories should be no different. 

These are just a few advantages of allowing your characters to lose, but now I'd like to hear from you — do you allow your characters to fail often? What other advantages do characters failures have?

Mini Book Reviews: INSURGENT & HOURGLASS

Contrary to what the lack of reviews posted on this blog might have you believe, I’ve been reading, except I might have been slacking a little on the review front, especially as I haven’t written a review since March. Oops.

So as I’ve really enjoyed the mini book review format and it seems the easiest way to review my favorite reads of the last few months, here are my thoughts on two fabulous books:

Let’s start with the back cover copy of Insurgent by Veronica Roth:

Photo credit: Mine 

“One choice can transform you—or it can destroy you. But every choice has consequences, and as unrest surges in the factions all around her, Tris Prior must continue trying to save those she loves—and herself—while grappling with haunting questions of grief and forgiveness, identity and loyalty, politics and love.

Tris’ initiation day should have been marked by celebration and victory with her chosen faction; instead the day ended with unspeakable horrors. War now looms as conflict between the factions and their ideologies grows. And in times of war, sides must be chosen, secrets will emerge, and choices will become even more irrevocable—and even more powerful. Transformed by her own decisions but also haunting grief and guilt, radical new discoveries, and shifting relationships, Tris must fully embrace her Divergence, even if she does not know what she may lose by doing so.”

Insurgent is a fantastic (if not slightly infuriating—but in a good way) sequel. One of my favorite aspects about the Divergent trilogy is the characters—they’re complicated and layered, make (plenty) of mistakes and have their own flaws and struggles to deal with. As a bonus, Roth doesn’t rely on the traditional love triangle seen so often in YA novels—instead, she chooses to explore the complexities and difficulties of a relationship, which turned out to be very effective (and also often the source of the aforementioned frustration). 

For those of you who have read Divergent and haven’t yet picked up the sequel, I highly recommend it, and for anyone else who enjoys well-written dystopian YA books, I can’t recommend this trilogy enough.

Now the Goodreads summary of Hourglass by Myra McEntire:

“One hour to rewrite the past . . .

Photo credit: Goodreads

For seventeen-year-old Emerson Cole, life is about seeing what isn't there: swooning Southern Belles; soldiers long forgotten; a haunting jazz trio that vanishes in an instant. Plagued by phantoms since her parents' death, she just wants the apparitions to stop so she can be normal. She's tried everything, but the visions keep coming back. 

So when her well-meaning brother brings in a consultant from a secretive organization called the Hourglass, Emerson's willing to try one last cure. But meeting Michael Weaver may not only change her future, it may also change her past. 

Who is this dark, mysterious, sympathetic guy, barely older than Emerson herself, who seems to believe every crazy word she says? Why does an electric charge seem to run through the room whenever he's around? And why is he so insistent that he needs her help to prevent a death that never should have happened?”

I’d been meaning to read Hourglass for a while, and I’m glad I finally did. Emerson’s voice is entertaining and kept me smiling throughout the story, the plot is intriguing and exciting and the romance wasn’t overdone, which was nice to see. I loved the humor scattered throughout the book and I found myself flipping through the pages to try to answer the many questions that surround Emerson’s unusual sight.

I’ll be reading the sequel (Timepiece) shortly and look forward to entering the world of Hourglass once again. For those who like paranormal YA, I suggest you add this one to your TBR list—it’s a fantastic addition to the genre.

Have you read either of these novels? What did you think? If not, feel free to share your recommendations!

How (Not) to Write Dialogue

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For whatever reason, I haven’t written much about dialogue on this blog, something that I realized must be remedied sooner rather than later. And so this post was born.

As many of you know, dialogue makes a huge impact on your writing—stilted dialogue can very easily ruin an otherwise well-written scene, while lines of great dialogue are often quoted by readers as their favorite lines from the book. But how do you ensure that you’ve written brilliant dialogue? The secrets to brilliance, my friends, are here.

How to Write Brilliantly Fantastic Dialogue That Will Leave Your Readers Clamoring for More*

1. Make sure your characters always address each other. As your readers can’t see that your characters speaking to each other (you’re not writing a screenplay for a movie—you’re writing a book), it’s very easy for them to become confused. Who is speaking to whom? The quickest way to remedy this is to make sure your characters address each other, like so:
   
   “Hello Bob, how are you doing?”
   “I’m doing very well, Mary, and yourself?”
   “I couldn’t be better, Bob!
   “That’s wonderful, Mary.”
   “Isn’t it, Bob?”
   “Truly, it is, Mary.”
   
   And so on.


2. Never use “said.” “Said” is about the most clichéd word in the English dictionary and must be avoided at all costs, unless you want to bore your readers to death. Besides, why would you use “said” when there are dozens of more interesting words like “remarked,” “declared,” “divulged,” “avowed,” and “proclaimed”? You wouldn’t. That’d just be silly.


3. In fact, forget dialogue tags altogether. Who really uses dialogue tags anymore, anyway? All they do is weigh down your writing with unnecessary words. Besides, your readers will know who is speaking to who since all of your characters are addressing each other in every line.


4. Quotation marks are cliché. Use italics to differentiate your dialogue from the rest of the writing. It looks much prettier.


5. No cussing. There are NO circumstances when it’s ok for your characters to curse—it’s very ugly and few things will chase your readers away faster than cursing characters. Instead, use substitute words like “fairy poo,” “fiddlesticks” and “shish kabobs” to save your readers’ innocence.


6. Formal speech is a must. If your characters don’t sound like they came out of a work of Shakespeare, you aren’t doing it right.


7. Write out accents. How are your readers supposed to remember all of the various accents your characters have if you don’t sound them out? Hope y’all err havin’ a fantaaaastic day! looks much better than “Hope y’all are having a fantastic day, she said with a Southern accent.”


8. Use as much punctuation as possible. Case and point: WHY AREN’T YOU USING ENOUGH PUNCTUATION?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????!!!!!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!.....?!


9. Strive for uniformity. It is essential that all of your characters sound the same, otherwise you risk confusing your readers with characters that don’t sound like they belong in the same book.


10. Forget dialogue altogether. You know what? Who really needs dialogue, anyway? Silent movies were all the rage way back when, what’s to say it can’t work now? 

*The only thing your readers will be clamoring for, should you do these things, is your head on a platter. This is a sarcastic post. Please do not take these tips seriously.

Now it’s your turn: what dialogue “tips” would you add to the list?