How to Be Happy

Photo credit: Dawn Ashley on Flickr

I try to be an upbeat person.

Remaining positive throughout the day isn't something that comes naturally to everyone— as I'm a rather realistic person, it certainly doesn't come naturally to me. But over the course of the last couple years, I've learned a few secrets about being happy that have shifted the way I look at things.

As it turns out, being positive isn't necessarily related to external events. We all have our bad days, bad weeks or even months. Writers, especially unpublished writers, often struggle with keeping a positive attitude during the years it takes to hone the craft, write book after book and find publication. The life of writers is difficult, and being happy can often feel like an impossible task.

But it's not impossible.

Change Your Thinking

Happiness, as it turns out, is much more closely related to the way we view events rather than the events actually taking place. Good things that happen to us don't make us happy —the fact that we interpreted the event as something good is what makes us happy. The same goes for unhappy events —it all depends on the way we view them.

I read a post by Michael Hyatt a little while ago titled, "How a Shift in YourVocabulary Can Instantly Change Your Attitude." I highly recommend you take a look at it, but if you don't, his post basically capitalizes on what I'm talking about here: you dictate your own happiness.

In the post, Mr. Hyatt talks about the importance of having an attitude of gratitude, and reflecting that gratitude in our vocabulary. Rather than saying, "I have to go to work," for example, he suggests you say, "I get to go to work." This shift immediately turns a negative connotation (I'm going to work because I don't have a choice) to a positive one (I'm so blessed to have a job I get to go to).

For writers, it could be the difference between "I have to edit today" and "I get to edit today." Or "I have to write today" versus "I get to write today."

This is just one example of how changing our thinking can immediately make us more positive.

Smile Often

Do we smile because we're happy, or are we happy because we're smiling? This is a question that scientists have struggled over for years, but research today seems to indicate that smiling can make you happy.

It's hard to smile when we're upset, tired or stressed out, but if you force yourself to hold a smile a couple times a day, even when you're not feeling particularly happy, I think you'll find it much more difficult to hold your unpleasant mood (and really, why are you trying to hold onto that, anyway?)

Start Your Day with Gratitude

Try to start your day by listing three things you have to be grateful about. This is a habit I'm still trying to get into, but I think it's a great idea because not only does it force you to think about something positive first thing in the morning, but it starts to train your brain to look for things to be grateful about —something, I think, that is essential for a positive attitude.

These are just three ways writers (and everyone else) can inject a little more happiness into their lives —and who doesn't like an extra dose of happiness?

Have you tried any of these techniques? What do you do to maintain a positive attitude?

Your Greatest Asset is You

Photo credit: a2gemma on Flickr

The blogosphere is overloaded with advice about how to write--whether it's blogging, writing a novel, poetry or screenplays, if you Google it, you'll find it. And advice is great--sometimes we need tips to help us get over certain obstacles, whether it's character development or voice or growing your blog.

But sometimes we get too caught up in the small stuff. Because yes, it's true that you need to work to improve your craft and yes, writing tips are absolutely useful when you're working to improve your writing, but guys, your greatest asset isn't in sentence structure or paragraph length or even your ability to drive traffic to your blog--it's you.

You are unique. No one sees the world the way you do. No one can think or dream or write the same way you do. And that's what makes you special. That's what makes you you. 

You're not always going to have original content, and that's ok. Truth be told, everything under the sun has been done in one way or another. But your worldview, your personality infused into your writing is what makes it memorable. 

Only you can match the perfect cadence of your words. Only you can write the way you do and that is what will draw readers to you. The other stuff is important, yes, but this one thing you must remember.  

You are your greatest asset--never forget it.

Do What You Love

“You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for work, as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking and don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” –Steve Jobs

After Apple’s announcement Wednesday night, I watched Steve Jobs’ Stanford commencement address, and it really struck a chord. If you haven’t taken the fifteen minutes to watch it yet, I highly recommend it—it’s inspirational.

That being said, one of the (many) things that stuck out to me was the quote I gave to you guys above. You’ve got to find what you love.

Life is short and every day is a gift. You only have one life to live, so why not spend it doing something that you love?If you’re not passionate about your work, maybe you should be doing something else. Maybe you should consider making a change and doing that thing that you really want to do.

I remember when I was in high school and I would ask my peers what they wanted to do and I’d get answers like “I want to be a doctor” or “I want to be a lawyer”—and that was great for some of them. Some of them really loved the medical field and were fascinated with law and that’s fantastic.

But some of them were motivated by money, or just going along the path their well-intentioned parents pushed them onto. They worked hard to get the grades and went to ivy league schools to study a profession that could make them money not because it was what they wanted to do, not because they loved it, but because it was what was expected of them.

It’s hardly an uncommon story and looking back, I wish I had said something. Because guys, money means nothing if you’re not happy. And all those expectations from your friends, your family, they’re real and it’s hard to disappoint them, but sometimes they don’t line up with your dreams. Sometimes they don’t line up with who you are. And sometimes when that happens you need to take a stand and do what makes you happy.

And no, they may not understand you. They may think you foolish for stepping off the secure path to do that risky thing that you really enjoy doing.

But in the end it comes down to you. Your happiness. Your life.

I leave you with another gem from Mr. Jobs:

“…for the past 33 years, I’ve looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”  

And the video, in case you haven’t watched the address yet:

Are you doing what you love? 

Be Genuine

“Every author in some way portrays himself in his works, even if it be against his will.” –Goethe

Be yourself. Two words most of us have heard since kindergarten, repeated endlessly almost to the point of cliché.

But the funny thing about those two ever-repeated words is that out of all the writing tips I could think of, this one stuck out to me the most. And it’s not just a writing tip really, it’s a life tip.

Be genuine.

But what does that have to do with that super-awesome fantabulous quote at the top? you wonder. It’s simple, really.

As the quote says above, parts of yourself will evidently end up in your writing (or any other art form, really). It’s inevitable. For writing, it’s in the cadence of your words, the essence of your story, the life of your characters—it’s intertwined into the very fiber of your work.

So if you’re trying to “improve” yourself by pretending to be someone you’re not, it will also, inevitably, show in your writing. It’ll come out stilted, forced and unnatural. People will notice.

For some people being genuine comes naturally—as it should. For others, it’s intimidating. There’s the fear of rejection and the fear of being viewed as a fake (even though you’re truly trying to be just you), to name a few.

But friends, being open and being yourself is key. In your writing. In your workplace. In your life.

Don’t be afraid to be honest in your writing—someone will taste its truth and it will resonate.

Don’t be afraid to be real on your blog, your Twitter, your tumblr, whatever your social media savvy is—your personality is what will make it special.

Don’t be afraid to be you—you are special, you are unique and no one else can do you better.

And for fun…favorite quotes! GO!