How to Make Your Readers Run

Photo is author's own

It’s happened to most of us—you’re cruising along the web, opening and browsing through blogs, websites, or randomness you just happened to stumble upon when BAM!—your biggest web pet peeve slaps you in the face with the force of an angry kangaroo on speed.

What happens from there depends on you level of tolerance and self-control. Some of us instantly close the tab and block the trauma from memory. Others ignore it and continue to enjoy the content of the page despite the screaming pet peeve alarm. You can probably guess which camp I’m in.

So after a quick survey on Twitter and reviving repressed trauma (the things I do for you guys), I have compiled a list of five ways to make your readers run from your blog faster than a cat from a bubble bath. 

Ready? Go!

1. Really long paragraphs. Readers like short paragraphs, especially online. Why? Honestly, it’s just easier to read. It’s light on the eyes and it feels faster while you’re reading. Not to mention the increase of reading on mobile devices. Ever try to read a long paragraph on a cell phone? Not pretty.


2. Light text on dark backgrounds. People tend to make this mistake because they think it looks cool. You know what’s cool? Being able to read without feeling like the words are glaring at you.
   
   
   Don’t believe me? Let’s do a quick experiment. Which is easier to read?
   
   
   This gorgeous neon text on awesome black background of emo-ness?
   
   
   Or this normal black text on a light background?
   
   
   It doesn’t look cool, ok guys? It drives readers away from your blog en masse.


3. Teenie, tiny font size. This is hard to read. If your blog looks like this, you're giving some poor far-sighted person a migraine. Worse—you’re making normal people squint and feel like they need glasses. Make your font bigger. Like, at least 13 (though I’ve read that font size should really be larger than that, so I’m being nice with 13). Larger font = happy readers.


4. Auto-playing music. I know why people do this, really I do. Setting the atmosphere of your blog with some music sounds like a good idea. But guess what? Some people like to listen to their own music while browsing the web, then when the auto-playing music starts playing all of a sudden two songs are playing at the same time fighting for your attention and I don’t know about you guys, but I go crazy finding the tab to SHUT OFF THE FOREIGN NOISE.
   
   
   You know, so I can listen to my music in peace.
   
   
   Then there are other times when music just makes reading difficult. The idea is to appeal to as many readers as possible, and playing music is a guaranteed way to alienate some readers. I’m not saying they’ll all care (there are plenty of people, I’m sure, who don’t really mind), but there will be some who leave just because there is music playing. And you really don’t want that, now do you?
   
   
5. Terrible spelling and grammar. I have a feeling this annoys writers more than anyone else, but numerous grammar and spelling errors on a blog makes it look highly unprofessional. I’m not saying the occasional typo will kill you (it won’t, we all understand you’re human), but when your blog reads like a 14-year-old’s text message, there’s a problem.

So there you are, my fair readers—five ways to turn your blog into a nightmare. But I’m sure there are plenty of other methods that have slipped my mind.

What are your worst blog or web design pet peeves? 

The Pretty Writing Trap

I don’t know about you guys, but for the longest time my goal was to make my writing sing. I searched for the perfect metaphor, traded similes until the right one rang clear and when I closed my eyes I tried to picture my descriptions perfectly so it would resound on the page.

And technically, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Those are all things that are important to master while writing.

 

That’s all good and well, and I was pretty happy with the result. That is, until one of my crit partners came to me and told me my pretty writing was getting in the way of my protagonist’s voice.

Whoa. I read that comment at least half a dozen times. Then I raced back to my WIP and was instantly mortified. My partner was totally right. In my quest to beautify my writing, I neglected the voice. This was especially tragic since my WIP was in first person. *cringe*

So I rewrote the first part of the sample for the umpteenth time with a focus on my MC’s voice. I stopped panicking. This was a feasible fix. It’d take a lot of rewriting, but it wasn’t a death sentence. Plus the new version was a million times better.

But it got me thinking. Somewhere deep down inside I knew writing pretty wasn’t the goal, yet somewhere along the line I’d forgotten. True writing is what we should aim for. True to you and, most importantly, true to your character.

My MC was a seventeen-year-old guy and I was using phrases like “phantom rain” and “limp and delicate as a newborn.” It wasn’t until after I became aware of my tendency towards pretty writing that it occurred to me no sane seventeen-year-old boy is going to say that. Geesh.

So. When reviewing your work, here are two questions to ask yourselves: Am I writing pretty? Is this something my MC would say or something I like because it’s a nice image?

Remember the old adage kill your darlings? Yeah. That applies to now. Like that beautiful simile that you spent hours on—was that YOU or your character?

Think about it.

Edit: I know I kind of mentioned this, but I'd like to clarify--please don't worry about this or any other editing issue while writing your first draft, just get it down. This is something to consider while editing. That is all. :)

Have you fallen into the writing pretty trap? What other things do you try to look out for when editing?