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| Photo credit: Aimanness Photography on Flickr |
For the writer, this often manifests in a form of writer's guilt.
Writers are really good at finding reasons to be disappointed with themselves: whether it's not writing enough that day or week, not writing well enough, not reading enough, or editing enough, or querying enough, or whatever it may be, we're really good at telling ourselves that we're not doing enough, and we're even better at stressing out over it, which in turn often makes us do even less. And so the hellish cycle goes on.
Now I'm not saying that writers shouldn't be disciplined, or that we should ignore missing deadlines or a need to improve. I'm not saying that we shouldn't look at our writing with a critical eye, or that taking stock of how we could be more productive is somehow a bad thing, and I'm not saying that it's unimportant to push ourselves to write and read and refine our craft.
What I am saying is that there's a healthy way to handle writer guilt without beating yourself over the head with it.
I've broken it down into three easy steps:
- Acknowledge. As they say, the first step to fixing a problem is acknowledging that you have one. Take a few minutes to accept whatever shortcoming that's making you feel uneasy. Then move on to step two.
- Reassess. You know you have a challenge to overcome—whether it's time management, actually writing, or editing, or reading, or whatever the issue is. Now is the time to decide what you're going to do about it. What change will you make to improve? Decide on a concrete goal, then...
- Make a change. Don't worry about what you didn't accomplish or how your shortcoming affected you or your writing. Don't worry about feeling guilty or not doing as much as another writer. You've figured out what you need to do to take steps towards improvement, now do it. Simple as that.
The key to dealing with writer guilt is truly not to let it impede with your efforts to improve. Accept that it's there, then tell it to shut up and get to work.
Because believe it or not, drowning in guilt won't help you improve for a second.
Have you ever experienced writer guilt? What do you do to overcome it?
18 comments:
This article really rings true with me O.O The recent weeks and days I have criticized myself and beaten myself up too harshly. Either it is because I think I write too little or the worst, that I don't write at all. The worst period were when I was unable to get myself to write for an enitre week! Even when I wanted to. It seems to pick itself up again now however, although slowly. Still I don't think I do well enough and I'm afraid to get into such a slump again. I keep telling myself that it wont happen and that every artist, writer or not all experience such periods. I'm just afraid over not being able to reach my goals I guess, or see my stuff finished. Doubt can really be such a devil...
We all go through periods of non-writing or difficulty writing--it's completely normal. I often remind myself that any writing, even if it's only a hundred words, is better than nothing--after all, it's an extra hundred words you didn't have yesterday. :)
And if you miss a day? Or a week? It doesn't help at all to beat yourself up. The best you can do it just start the next day fresh and try to write anyway.
I once went through a six month period of not writing a single word (well, for my WIPs anyway). I didn't die and I didn't forget how to write, in fact I found that the break made me all the more eager (and excited) to get back into writing after the period was over.
So in short don't worry. Just write. :)
Well, I have written about 100 words today I think and yeah you are right, that is much better than nothing :D
Six months!? And you still didn't forget to writ? Wow. It still sounds tough though. I guess that too is a fear of mine, to lose my ideas and my ability to write. I really need to stop worrying about such stupid things and instead just let my creativity flow. And yeah, I think we all need a break now and then. Creative minds do have a tendency to work themselves too hard I have noticed..
You're right on, Ava. Sometimes it gets overwhelming. "Do I not do enough social media? Do I not try hard enough? Not enough research, practice, reading, etc.?" You can only do so much, do your best, and most importantly enjoy it. With the desire to succeed breathing down your neck, though, it's hard. Wish it were easy. But if it were we'd all be published bestsellers and the world would do nothing but read, lol.
I actually wrote a post on the experience and how I don't believe it's possible to forget how to write. I can give you the link, if you'd like. :)
You're totally right, Margaret--it isn't easy at all. But as they say, few things worth having ever come easily.
Yeah, I would appreciate that, thanks ;)
Not a problem! It's right here. ^_^
This is a terrific topic. Motivation is hard enough, and then you have to balance it with perfectionism, and hope the voice of self-discipline gives them both a turn. Going back to what you said a couple of posts back on the subject of critiquing, I often fumble words trying to give writers feedback that combines utility with encouragement—not just friends; I keep hearing back from authors after I post reviews of their books, and it makes me nervous. There are some fantastic storytellers languishing in their own WIP doldrums. I doubt anything I can say in a critique will make or break anyone's career, but I wish I could just make a video every time an author first tells me a story seed—all the excitement, all the fresh ideas rushing out—and play it back at them when they think about quitting.
Thanks, Colin! That last bit about the video is a really wonderful idea. Another similar revitalizing method is to write down a list of elements that you love about your WIP (this is usually done at the beginning or while you're still happy with the writing) to then look back on later when the writing becomes more difficult.
I haven't written anything in five days. Lord have mercy on mah soul -_____-
I was halfway through a blog post on self-doubt (and guilt) when this popped into my Twitter feed. Thank you! A timely helping hand... I am a black-belt master at Guilt.
Only one way to break the streak... :)
This made me smile. I'm glad to hear that the post came at the perfect time for you. Most of us share a tendency of being too hard on ourselves, but it never helps to drown in guilt. The best thing we can do is forget the guilt and start writing again.
Amen, sister! I beat myself up all the time, but I try to keep chugging along, no matter what. What gets me the most is when I'm struggling and feeling so behind everyone else. Some days I can look at the list of debut novels and the celebrations posts and other days I cannot. I have finally figured out when to use them as inspiration and when to avoid them as a club to beat myself with.
I will have my time. I just have to focus on the writing...not the end result. So when I am having one of those days, I set myself a small goal and force myself to open my wip. Once it is in front of me, I can't help but get sucked back in.
Sounds like you've got a really great attitude, Mary. Setting small goals is a great way to get yourself going again and knowing when you're able to handle publishing news and when you're not in the right frame of mind to read about it is definitely important.
In the end, the best thing you can do (as you said) is focus on the writing. Good luck!
Very interesting points you have remarked, thanks for posting.I like to read your stuff about interesting subject.
Thanks!
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