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that a certain best-selling series-turned blockbuster movies may have helped to kick it off, but every once in a while I see books employ sexy stalkers and I don’t really understand it.
Before I go any further, let me explain what I mean about “sexy stalker.”
A sexy stalker is a very attractive guy (or girl, hypothetically, though I haven’t seen this yet) who follows around/creeps on/knows way too much about/appears in bedrooms (or other private places)/aka STALKS the protagonist of the novel. Usually the protagonist is female and usually she doesn’t mind the stalking. Usually she falls in love with her stalker and so it’s all ok. Usually they end up in some kind of relationship and all of that strange behavior is chalked up to love and protectiveness.
It’s weird.
The thing I don’t understand, is that stalkers are a real thing. There are actually people out there who obsessively and inappropriately follow around and “research” an unfortunate victim of their so-called affection. There are actually cases of women and girls (and probably boys and men, too) who are afraid to go places or even be at home alone because of said harassment. There are restraining orders and police and courts involved and it’s not a pretty thing.
It’s also definitely not sexy.
Stalkers are scary. They make people actually fear for their lives. They make people too scared to go to school, or work, or whatever the case may be.
They don’t make people fall in love, and a relationship with a stalker isn't normal.
When I’ve seen it in books, I’ll admit that for the most part, I’ve ignored it. I’ve quirked my eyebrow at the weirdness and the protagonist’s blanket acceptance of stalkerish tendencies and moved on with the story.
But it still got me thinking. It still made me wonder why it’s ok for boys to be stalkers in books—no, why it’s sexy for boys to be stalkers in books. I’m wondering why our female protagonists are falling in love with boys who have borderline control issues and overprotective/obsessive tendencies.
I’m wondering what we’re telling kids when our protagonists have boyfriends who sneak into their bedrooms to watch them sleep at night, and follow them around when they’re out with their friends to presumably save them when they’re attacked.
Maybe it’s just me, but that kind of relationship just doesn’t seem healthy. Or sexy. Or in any way desirable.
But maybe it’s just me. Or maybe it’s not.
I want to hear from you: have you seen the sexy stalkers trend? Am I the only one who finds it strange?
I actually started a book when I was fourteen that had a bit of a sexy stalker element. I gave up on it mostly because when a certain best-selling series came out, I thought my story was far too similar (there were other reasons, but it's a long story). I think fantasy writers try to make this work because they can offer some sort of supernatural explanation for the stalking. But if you really stop and think about it, it actually is just plain creepy.
ReplyDeleteDidn't Jodie Foster have a stalker who eventually tried to shoot Ronald Reagan? That is *so* sexy.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right that it sometimes gets explained away as part of the supernatural-ness but...yeah, it's still creepy.
ReplyDeleteErr, did she? I don't know. All I know is stalkers are scary.
ReplyDeleteJohn Hinkley Jr. was his name. They made an American Dad episode out of the whole fiasco, and there was time traveling involved.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree! It's actually put me off reading YA novels because so many of the male characters are hideous. I like a bad boy but they need some positive traits or it just doesn't work!
ReplyDeleteTrust me, It's NOT just you! That's usually the reason why I avoid YA novels that have been published in the last few years (with some exceptions, of course). Seriously, they're sending a really bad message! What if guys start thinking, 'Well, all the girls think it's romantic, maybe that's how I'll get a girlfriend!' Teenagers are possibly the most encourageable people, so you really don't want to start sending them mixed up messages! I should know, seeing as I am one.
ReplyDeleteI have seen no sexy stalkers in my neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteWriters should go where they fear to treat, it makes for great writing, something which is scarce these-days, don't you think?
Creepy...
ReplyDeleteI still read (and love) YA, but I do tend to avoid books that look like they may be going down the route. You can often tell from the back cover copy...
ReplyDeleteI actually love reading YA (and I've found some truly incredible and recently released YA reads), but as I told Amy, I do tend to avoid books that seem like they may have a sexy stalker (or otherwise similar) theme. You can often tell by the back cover copy. That's not to say that books with sexy stalkers are inherently bad or anything, but it just seems...like a very strange trend.
ReplyDeleteI...think I understand what you're saying? Maybe? I suppose being scared of something would be a motivation to write it in a way that isn't scary, but it just seems rather strange to me because it's scary for a reason.
ReplyDeleteI think writing about things that scare us can make for really great plot opportunities as well as powerful writing. What I find strange about the trend isn't the writing about scary things bit--it's the writing something that is scary and dangerous as something that is acceptable or even desirable. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why I refuse to let my 13 yr old daughter read that series. It is not okay, it is not normal behavior, and I don't want her thinking it is.
ReplyDeleteI could understand that. I personally still found the series entertaining, but it is important to understand that the stalkerish behavior isn't something you want in a relationship, nor is it in any way attractive.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of YA incorporates the idea of a troubled stranger who ultimately reveals a softer, more sensitive side. I agree that the idea of making said stranger a stalker is a little aggressive, and I also think that when it is done wrong it definitely affects the credibility of the protagonist (who is, as you said, typically female). It's a fine line, in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteFinally! Someone who shares my worries! I've discussed Twilight (and the stalkerattitude) a lot with friends before and we all agreed that this wasn't the image children and teens should pick up. Unfortunately, most Twilightreaders (or readers from similar books. Twilight is just the only book of that genre I picked up) don't seem to mind. That worries me. If teens will believe stalking to be a necessary part of a healthy relationship, I predict there will be even more break-ups and divorces in the future. Overcontrolling and -protective partners ... Not something we were waiting for.
ReplyDeleteIt's a little strange and I don't fully agree with it. But, kids are smart and realize that fiction isn't real life. Just like adults do. Does that make it right? No, probably not. But fiction would be boring if left out elements that could be a harmful influence. What about all the revenge and murder? What about the glorifying of death and the afterlife? Know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteI think the difference between those two (disturbing romance and murder) is that no one reads a thriller and feels like it would be great to commit a murder themselves, whereas a lot of teens (girls, mostly) would love a boyfriend like Edward Cullen. They don't see what would be wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about it as well. I would love an Edward Cullen hehe but I do get what you mean with the stalker popularity in recent YA books. It is kinda creppy and I've seen that trend in Anime as well... I think it's a good literary thing, but many girls might be misguided with this and get along with the wrong kind of people.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Dany
bluebellsandowls.blogspot.com
You're definitely right about the fine line. I don't mind troubled characters with a sensitive side--in fact, I actually enjoy writing and reading troubled characters. The stalker thing really toes the line, though...
ReplyDeleteI don't like to blame any one thing (as you said, it's on various media) and I imagine there were probably stalker-ish love interests scattered throughout before the Twilight explosion. Regardless of blame, I do agree that it can lead to a dangerous line of thinking.
ReplyDeleteI don't think most teens who read books with stalker love interests walk away thinking that stalking is a necessity, per say, but I do think that media is influential and that it could potentially lead to some worrisome behaviors. But the over-controlling overprotective tendencies in some love interests (not just Twilight) is definitely something worth discussion. It's an odd trend, to be sure.
ReplyDeleteI agree that most kids are smart and don't walk away thinking that stalking behavior is normal, I just think it's a strange message. But you're right--death, violence and other trends toe a similar line. I suppose I found this one particularly strange because of the way many of the protagonists accept it as normal.
ReplyDeleteHmm, that's an interesting point, too. As I said before, I don't think most teenagers walk away from books with those kinds of characters and think it's normal, but I can see how it'd potentially be influential.
ReplyDeleteI don't watch Anime, but it doesn't surprise me that it's also a trend that has appeared there as well. I'm not sure how much of an impact it has, but it's a strange trend to be sure.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind the stalker characters, but it's odd when the stalk-ee finds it normal/ romantic, unless they have some history that gives them distorted expectations. Also they come to an unfortunate end as a result of their naivety.
ReplyDeleteMy wip has a properly nasty male protag, but it's about how these people can infiltrate the lives of so-called normal people, and it all ends fairly badly for all involved. I could never see that sort of character making a happily ever after ending, because that doesn't happen in reality. There's always a darkness and power imbalance even if a relationship continues.
I think actual stalkers have their place...in Thrillers or narratives where the stalking is written as a problem and not something romantic. It mostly just bugs me when relationships are built off of overprotective/obsessive/stalkerish behavior and it's written off like it's normal and totally okay.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree. It's reminded me of this video I watched the other day. Disturbing when she talks about how the normalising of these behaviours in books meant she overlooked inappropriate behaviour in previous boyfriends:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6OiRiGspOs
Wow! That was so great. Thanks for sharing! She makes some really incredibly important points.
ReplyDelete