It involves a super evil antagonist doing something super evil in a super cliché prologue and also a lot of me cracking up at myself.
Enjoy!
Twitter-sized bite:
Writer @Ava_Jae reads the first page of her first ever MS & talks some first MS realities. #vlog (Click to tweet)
I think you're being too hard on yourself! Recast the villain as the protagonist, edit some of the excessive description (and adverbs) and amp up the conflict between Javed (?) and the man in black (maybe like ***spoiler*** Caesar and Koba in 'Planet of the Apes' - loyalty turned mutiny), and there is something intriguing about it all. I love the imagery - the wounds and rivulets of blood against the sand, the boot against the jugular, the empty eyes staring at a clear, desert sky they will never see again, the disrespect for the dead, the clear intent of the deadly blade - there's something to save there...
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, am now really interested in what you don't like about it and whether you would ever salvage parts of the manuscript to turn into a more polished/sophisticate piece...
This video made me laugh a lot because I've totally been there. I can't tell you how many people think you can churn out a quality MS right away and publish the very first thing you write. I'm definitely going to direct them to this video. Thanks for sharing. :)
ReplyDeleteHa ha thanks! I'd probably still cut the whole prologue, to be honest, because all it is is background information of super evilness and a prophecy and...yeah... But I appreciate your encouragement!
ReplyDeleteAs for the MS, I honestly haven't really given it serious consideration mostly because I've had other manuscripts that I like way better and require way less work. The story itself was...okay I guess? Kind of High Fantasy cliché though, so I'd probably have to do a heck of a lot of reworking before I gave it serious consideration. Probably a full rewrite. Which at the moment, I'm not feeling particularly inclined to do. But you never know! Maybe I'll pull it out of the drawer one day. :)
You're so welcome, Briana! I'm glad you enjoyed the vlog—it was fun to make, despite the utter embarrassment. :)
ReplyDeleteI also know very well of writers, particularly new writers, who don't realize the amount of work that goes into creating something publishable. I was definitely one of them. Heh.
We are first manuscript twins! Mine also started out w/a prophecy- The Prophecy of Three(how's that for a good one! ugh.)- and there was also a prologue. A prologue, I'm not gonna lie, that was heavily reminiscent of Twilight. Anyway, I was cracking up w/you! And you are a brave girl, girl! =D
ReplyDeleteThat's too funny! I'm noticing High Fantasy seems to be a popular choice for first books for some reason. Ha ha. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed! ^_^
ReplyDeleteHeheh. This sounds so much like the opening of my first novel attempt. Bloody garments, bloody sword, blood-smeared bad guy revelling in how obviously twisted and messed up he is. I might have even had a “YOU FOOL” in there somewhere. Or maybe that was chapter three.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this! One of my favorite things about being a writer is that I get to spend my whole life getting better at something I love doing. Someday I’ll look back on the work I’m doing right now in 2014 and think, “Man, I’ve come a long way.”
And it’ll be encouraging. Hopefully. :p
Ha ha you're welcome, Braden! The FOOL thing really got me. Also infidels. Also the whole thing. I think I was probably thinking about Eragon and The Lord of the Rings or something while I was writing it. Who knows? ha ha
ReplyDeleteI so super agree with your second paragraph! Especially the part about spending our lives getting better at something we love—it's so great! Definitely keeps you working and motivated to always improve. :)
Someone out there...somewhere...will love that story. Just sayin'!
ReplyDeleteSomeone did! I call her "Mom." :)
ReplyDeleteOMG! That's tooo sweeet!
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